annother sad passing

Clockwise from top: Little Man, Richard, Minnie, Emmy and Oscar.

While I was in the hospital this last time, Rich had to do the hardest thing. He had to put Minnie to sleep. I cried for 3 days. We knew it was coming and really didn't have to procrastinate. He got up to a very sick dog and knew it was time. Of the Original 5, all that is left is Emmy. Don't know how long she has.

Update on Cathy Surgery again

Tried to use FB, but couldn't get it to work.

This is my shitty life. Called the doctor on call on the 5th. Having multiple problems. He advised to wait until Monday and call regular dr. That went over like a lead balloon. Saturday afternoon, we decide to beat feet to St. Luke's ER again. Called the sheriff dispatch to let them know we didn't want an ambulance but where headed to Boise, trying keep us out of trouble. She acted like I was nuts. "Just do the speed limit" except we were in a hurry so ignored that tidbit. Got to ER (they were expecting me) and I was admitted AGAIN being dehydrated, and having suspected ulcer. Stomach spasms making me heave continuously. Back to all liquid diet, by IV. 2 days later IV goes bad again, so now I have a picc line. And I got to bring it home with me! Now I have a type of nitro pill I take 2 times a day, a spray for under my tongue when I need help NOW with spasms. Got to come home on Friday (11). We have been trying to set up a schedule for my meds and "meals". Each has a specific time frame and I can't take them all at the same time. Just took some nite pills, am getting rummy so I'll see ya. Cathy

Veterans

Got this as a e-mail today.

Veteran to Veteran: When a Veteran leaves the 'job' and retires to a better life, many are jealous, some are pleased, and others, who may have already retired, wonder if he knows what he is leaving behind, because we already know.1. We know, for example, that after a lifetime of camaraderie that few experience, it will remain as a longing for those past times.2. We know in the Military life there is a fellowship which lasts long after the uniforms are hung up in the back of the closet.3. We know even if he throws them away, they will be on him with every step and breath that remains in his life. We also know how the very bearing of the man speaks of what he was and in his heart still is. These are the burdens of the job. You will still look at people suspiciously, still see what others do not see or choose to ignore and always will look at the rest of the Military world with a respect for what they do; only grown in a lifetime of knowing.Never think for one moment you are escaping from that life. You are only escaping the 'job' and merely being allowed to leave 'active' duty.So what I wish for you is that whenever you ease into retirement, in your heart you never forget for one moment that you are still a member of the greatest fraternity the world has ever known.
NOW... Civilian Friends vs. Veteran Friends Comparisons:
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Get upset if you're too busy to talk to them for a week.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Are glad to see you after years, and will happily carry on the same conversation you were having the last time you met.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Have cried with you.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it' s yours.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Will stand by you no matter what the crowd does.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Are for a while.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Are for life
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Have shared a few experiences...
VETERAN FRIENDS: Have shared a lifetime of experiences no civilian could ever dream of...
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, 'You better drink the rest of that before you spill it!' Then carry you home safely and put you to bed...
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Will forward this
A veteran - whether active duty, retired, served one hitch, or reserve is someone who, at one point in their life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The Government of the United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life'.From one Veteran to another, it's an honor to be in your company. Thank you for your service to our country and defending the freedoms we enjoy.

Medical Alert

The wonders of modern medicine never cease to leave you scratching your head. Cathy is doing fine and just as testy as ever, maybe even more so. Liquid only for the the past week and a bite or two of scrambled eggs have resulted in a weight loss of just over ten pounds. Oh ya and all them Vitim's. Gas acid and belching are making her a little uncomfortable. Today was the first time out in public since I brought her home last Friday,we went to the fitness center for a work out.I got all hot and smelly and Cathy did about five minutes on the walker, her goal is to work her way up to thirty minutes, but little steps first, the rest will come. Cathy will be on real food in about two more weeks after the next doctor visit. I did save up one hundred dollars for a new wardrobe, I figure she will be a hole lot skinner by summer, so she will fit right in to my idea of cheep.

Later RB

Feeling sorry for myself

This will probably be the last time I write on this thing. I getting tired of it. So, this will be my last "vent" one way or another. I'm on my soapbox people. A world of shit is flowing right about now, and its headed in your direction.

Been up for awhile. In the dark. crying. I know it is just a bout of medical induced depression, but it's mine and I can do what I want with it. I choose to feel sorry for myself. My own brothers don't ever call, so I guess I should not care that no one else does. (One exception: Thank you Gale for the call in the hospital. It raised my spirits more than I can ever say. You are the best.)

For years, I have tried to be involved, just to be include in the family. Yes, I love my brothers and kids, but there is something about you guy's family dynamics that is so much fun to watch when you get together. The problem, Richard is never included like he would have liked to have been at one time. Now, he chastises me for for trying to keep him involved with family when they so obviously don't want him involved. I don't think it hurts him like it used to, but hurts the hell out of me. I hear "I love you" from a man that took better than 10 years to say that, because he could not open up for any more hurt. I still cry when I hear it, because it means so much to me. I love this man so much and his own family can't even call him and give him any moral support. I know that part of this is my fault. I put unreal expectations on you I guess. He has been through radiation, (he won't say it but I will: CANCER SURVIVOR!!) and all my medical problems, and has emerged as the best person I know.
I didn't want to say anything to anyone about my surgery because I didn't want scorn or worse, indifference. Well, I got the indifference anyway it seems. Rich talked me into allowing a few people to know what and when. But when he sent messages to the rest of you, only a couple responded. and then, it was not with any support of us. So, I tried again. Hense, the last blog on Friday when we came home. (It was an emotional reunion. Lucy went nuts). Here again, no replys in 2 days. Thanks for the support.

The best thing that has come of this debacle is that Heather came to see me in the hospital. She and Rich had a long talk. She told him we did the right thing by not bailing her out when she got pregnant with Lacey, and it has taken her all these years to say this. I thought I was hallucinating. So no more bailing out or excused for anyone else. I love all my family. If you choose to not be included, that is your option. I will respond to any requests for help I can, but I won't put my heart out there anymore.
bye.

Update on Cathy Surgery

At 6:30 on the 11th, we hauled buns for St. Luke's. Check in at 8. Surgery at 10. I guess it was a little later than that. Don't remember much for about at least 24 hours. I am not sure, verdict is still out, but I hope this works. I have been trying to lose weight for over a year. No luck. So now I have had gastric bypass surgery. The surgery is called a Duadeanal Switch. You will have to look it up cuz I can't explain it. They say it isn't as hard on the system as a regular bypass. Couldn't tell it by me. I had a hard time recovering. Sinus crap, as well as water retention due to an IV that malfunctioned, made me have to stay in the hospital until this afternoon. As soon as I got the word, I called Rich and left this message."Come get Me." I was wanting out NOW!!! So we are home. I feel more comfortable, but still sore. 5 holes, 2 drains and a swollen arm. All for now. gonna go lie down.
cb

LAST DAY!!! Yee Haw!!

Today is the last treatment of radiation for Richard. He has awoken with a headache, so will do his workout later today. Right now, he is at his computer waiting for the Tylenol to kick in. Richard has astounded his doctor at M.S.T.I. by not showing any, or little, side effects from the radiation. Hair is all there (what there was to start with), no sun burn, not extremely tired, to name a few of the after effects they warned us of. He was in very good physical shape at the start, and continues to walk almost every day on the treadmill. I think this has helped alot. Maintained his weight at about 218. Back to the gym in January! Yeah!!! At times, it seem that this day would never come, yet it is here now, and I find myself wondering how the rest of our lives will be affected. After this treatment, I hope to entice him into a bit of a celebration. Possibly lunch at the Blue Ribbon. We'll see. Next appointment will be the end of January, a blood test, and we will go from there.

Read an article in the paper yesterday while we were waiting for treatment. It was about the "baby boomers." Starting January 1, over 10,000 people a DAY will turn 65 years old and this will continue for 19 YEARS!!! Kind of a startling statistic isn't it? Do the math. Our parents and their friends were really busy after the war. Make that wars. WWII, Korea, Vietnam, just to name a few. Food for thought.

It is raining and blowing now and has been raining and blowing all night. I keep have nightmares about the amount of rain we are getting, and the amount of snow that may turn to runoff in the mountains. Shades of that New Years' evening that we were evacuated due to the flooding. Then, the rain was coming down literally like buckets on the car windshield when we got your mother and left the valley to go over the hill to relative safety. Now, we have the added worry about the sewer ponds. Then, it wasn't our problem. Now it is.

Our makeshift drain pipe is flowing with water from the yard. The ditch is full and running well, well it is running anyway. Hope the house doesn't float away or get blown away. Dogs wouldn't like that at all. They are rather stuck in their habits. New thought! We can load up the dogs and get the flock out of here in our 5th wheel! Yeah!!! An escape!. May do that anyway, just to get away from the area for awhile. Don't know where we would go, weather sucks most everywhere right now. But Rich will find something, I'm sure. He says we could go to Cascade and watch the shit float down the river.
CB